Letting Go And Living In The Present

Many of us have expectations about how our life should be. We often try to live up to the expectations of others and, on top of this, we often put a lot of pressure on ourselves to become the person we think we should be.

If we constantly focus on how we think things should be, we forget to live in the present and be grateful for what we have.

Watch the video below to see how “letting go” can take the weight off your shoulders and change your life.

Why Is Letting So Important?

If we constantly focus on where we think we should be, what we are saying to ourselves is …

life won’t be good enough until I get ‘x’ or until I reach ‘y’.

However, you can escape this cycle if you:

  1. get clear about where you want to be
  2. get excited about it and then
  3. “LET GO” of it and enjoy the journey.

Enjoy The Journey …

When Cadel Evans won the tour de France, he was asked straight afterwards “what are you thinking about?”

His answer was, “Next year’s race!”

If you always put success on the other side of an event, your brain will never catch up. If your happiness is always conditional on reaching something in the future, then you’ll never get there because we constantly move the goal posts.

The key is to LET GO of those expectations and live in the now. Not only will you be happier but you can achieve so much more when you are truly present.

Some time ago, my mum wrote this poem called “in the letting go”

In The Letting Go

(by Susan Roberts)

When the world is full of promise, but the soul can’t seem to rest,
When our comfort zone enfolds us, yet we cannot reach our crest,
When we know we must take action but we don’t know where to start,
We must acknowledge our own instinct by listening to our heart.
With our past a fading ember and our future world aglow,
How dare we hope to reach it if we choose to not let go?

When our world is closing in, and all we ask for is to cope,
Know the past is built on memory while the future’s built on hope.
Ask the question ‘Are we walking on the road to find our quest?’
Have we thought about our options or our future life addressed?’
Let our answer lead us forward to find tools to help us grow
For we can only move ahead by first learning to let go.

By clinging to what was, we find those doors that once had shone
Are closed by memories powers – our yesterday has gone.
Behind us lie our memories, just shadows from before,
Tomorrow is our challenge as we walk towards its door.
Take lessons from our yesterday, then let the new day show
The promise of tomorrow, after learning to let go.

So don’t let the fear of failure hold you back from moving on.
The future can be malleable. The past is cast in stone.
While we search for understanding to make sense of why we’re here,
We can lose the point or purpose when our journey isn’t clear.
But when we find our real life’s calling and feel its natural flow
Then we’ve surely found our proper path, in the letting go.

 

Have you ever experienced better results in your life after letting go of expectations? I’d love to read your comments below …

About Andrew Roberts

Andrew is well known as one of Australia’s leading business mentors, is a Strategic Business specialist, and has been known to work his own magic with a host of companies featured in various Top 100 BRW lists. Andrew has gone from running one of the largest business coaching companies in Australia to focusing on specialists and leaders of various industries.

  • Caroline

    I think you’re very fortunate to have such an insightful mother. Thanks for the timely email.
    Best wishes,
    Caroline

    • Yes I am Caroline and i will pass this onto her. Thank you.

  • Great video Andrew about letting go – I totally agree about the importance of gratitude for where you are right now to be here fully present and living life :-).

    Your Mum’s poem is truly inspirational too – I’ll be sharing this post on Facebook.

    Happy new year!

    Many blessings with love Emi xox

    • Happy new year Emily. Have an amazing 2013. Thanks for your post. Andrew

  • Sylvia

    What a wonderful and timely reminder Andrew – thank you! I like the expression “been there, done that” but when we have to add, “and back there again”, there’s something we forgot about how to get there and beyond. Your video and Susan’s poem were the perfect message to hear as I set new goals to bounce back.

  • Patrick Mccormick

    Hi Andrew,I retired from NZ some years ago having sold out the accountancy practice their, became bored after about 4 weeks here in Aus came and saw a person that I had known for some years and went back to work. Am currently practice manager and thoroughly enjoying what I am doing. I have enjoyed your wakeup call re your programs. How old am I [76]. So the saying that you are never too old to learn and study is correct. Keep up the good work.Paddy

    • Thank you Paddy. Its so good to hear this and I really hope when I am 76 I am still learning and working. Unfortunately I believe people are brought up to be a little mislead with retirement – and that is the purpose of life (ie to retire). I ant understand the need to retire when you are doing work you enjoy. THanks for sharing.

  • Thank you. It’s a great poem with a good message. I also like how you are proud of your mum. I hope my sons one day are proud of me enough to quote me publicly if I had something that worthwhile to share! 🙂

    • I am very lucky to have a great mother and thanks for sharing this. I am sure your sons are already really proud of you.

  • rdowens

    This makes a lot of sense. The problem I’ve had all my life though is deciding what I want. It’s like I’ve never really had a clue. I know what I’m good at and I know what is important to me. But combining the two into making living has never seemed possible. I’m good at writing and seriously practicing Buddhism is important to me. So it may follow that I should write a book about my experience in Buddhism or maybe my life in general and how I’ve reached this point of self-examination and renunciation of grasping. That is how the Buddha said to let go.
    Hmm. Just writing this has given me some idea of direction. Interesting.

    • Thanks for sharing. If you ever need some extra help – we have a course on helping people find their mission. Just email blake@andrewroberts.com.au and Blake can direct you to some more information. Have a great day

  • Christine

    Hi Andrew,
    This is exactly what I needed to hear today, I woke up with a heavy cloud of worry, I suppose, as the money isn’t flowing as well as I need it to at present, funny how when you have a bad week we tend to focus on that instead of being present and knowing this too will change, thank you for helping me to focus on what is important, to set my goals and let go.

    • Thanks for your comment Christine. The money will start flowing again soon – it always does!!

  • Thank you for your wise message. It was exactly what I needed to hear today.

  • Srirama

    Reading post early morning is an excellent start for a productive day

  • Andrew Roberts
  • Thanks Andrew – a lovely reminder to start the year.
    Absolutely love your Mum’s poem – beautifully expressed.
    May 2013 be a magical year for you 🙂

  • Thanks Andrew this blog has come at the right time. Your mother’s poem is inspirational. Please thank her for sharing it with us.

  • Elisa

    Great Video – just what I needed to calm me down today and such a beautiful poem 🙂 Thank you for sharing Andrew

  • Thanks Andrew for beautiful and amazing lines from your Mum … God Bless her !!!
    Let Go… for me the answer is FORGIVENESS – First yourself and then others. Forgiveness leads to COMPASSION which leads to the ultimate … UNIVERSAL LOVE !!!
    God Bless you too!

  • Schellie

    As a friend of mine would say, I am absolutely ‘gobsmacked’! I have had 3 children, one who came far too early, and with each pregnancy, Depression became more treatment resistant. My 2nd mum died, and then my mum died as well and have had scares with my dad, but am blessed as he is still with me. They have now realized that without the traumatic life events, the issue is more of General Anxiety Disorder. I feel like I am at a crossroads in my life, ready to move forward, and yet terrified because I am not sure who I am anymore and what am I capable of, anyway. This blog addresses many issues for me and I really appreciate your words and your mom’s poem! Thanks!

  • Yvonne

    Your mother is a pretty awesome woman!
    Thank you for this blog. I love it because it is in line with what the Bible said in Mark 11:24.

  • Eleonora

    After having difficult experiences, situations in life, and then being alone, it is quite difficult to find my own goals and this situation makes me sad, because i don’t know where to go, what to do, which is my way.
    I’m learning day by day to listen to myself..and something is appearing and makes me have more trust in myself.
    Thank you so much for the video and the poem!

  • Debbie

    Thanks, Andrew. Last night I barely slept. The night before I barely slept. This morning I cannot eat. Today I’ve felt a massive weight on me, and it’s exactly what you say: I am not where I thought I would be after starting my own business, getting results has been harder than I thought, and I am losing hope, feeling like I’ve let my family down, and scared.

    Your blog is incredibly timely. The information isn’t new to me, but I needed to hear it again.

    • Its amazing how sometimes we need to hear the same message several times to remind us. Thanks for sharing Debbie and I hope you are feeling better today.

  • Maricruz de Aza

    Beautiful message! it is what I needed to hear today! People always say that we need to forgive, to forget, and to let it go…… but how…….how do we accomplish it?
    Andrew you really hit the nail on the head with this one! Your message is quick, effective and direct(very specific) I will call it “The Formula”.

    Thanks!

    • Thanks for sharing Maricruz. Andrew

  • Michael Riordan

    Thanks Andrew & Happy New Year,

    Another great message.So far sticking to the annual planning model you sent out,with some well defined goals in place.Looking forward to a great 2013 as you are with the Eels.

    Regards Mick

    • Happy new year Michael. I think the eels are due for a win this year. Lets see what happens!!!

  • Karen Gardner

    A beautiful and insightful poem and advice from you, as always. Very timely advice to ‘smell the roses’ and be grateful for what we have, thank you.

    • Your welcome Karen. Thank you

  • Love what you are putting out there Andrew. You have a unique and authentic approach that I love, and your content is always valuable and timely. Thanks for the reminder – totally agree that letting go and traveling through life with gratitude and without attachment to outcomes is the way to be most joyful.

    • Thanks Simone. I appreciate it. I totally agree with you regarding life becoming more enjoyable when you can ‘let go’ of attachment to outcomes.

  • Selina

    Wow! Amazing and very insightful poem!

    This is a great reminder to be excited about the future and be grateful for the present. Thank you for sharing this. You Mum is an amazing person!

  • POWERFUL AND SO INSIGHTFUL ANDREW… Could not agree with you more, my expectation was constantly not met, which meant me constantly being disappointed, by the same person for the same thing; INSANITY… AFTER I let go, this “person” suddenly became what I was looking for without him or I even realizing it, it’s relinquishing pressure that sets you free. Keep empowering its brilliant.
    Geraldine

    • Tanks for sharing Geraldine. Andrew

  • Rashmi

    Totally agree to the concept of ‘letting go’ and attracting what you want in life 🙂
    But must say this has to come from within over a period of time – cannot happen by any external force or overnight.

    Thank you Andrew for the great insights and also for ‘what are you chasing…’
    Ever since I’ve asked myself this, I’ve found myself at peace!
    Big thanks to your mom too 🙂

    • Your welcome Rashmi. Have a great day.

  • Cristina

    I’ve move to another country and started my life again, but like you said, I wanted things to work out so badly that I ended up in the same situation again, and now that I’m letting go things, the opportunities are just coming along.

    thanks Robert for your all the knowledge that you share with us

    Cristina

    • Your welcome Cristina

  • Julie

    Andrew,

    Thank you and your mum soooo much for this! I struggle with this every day it seems. Life hits me and I forget to let go. Stress comes in and I grab onto it harder and forget that letting go will bring what I want into my life.
    I know I am going to have to watch this over and over and remind myself that I have to let go.
    Thank you again, the timing was perfect for me.

    Have an absolutely amazing day!!
    Julie

    • I will have an amazing day thanks Julie and I will also pass this thanks onto my mother. Thanks for posting and I am pleased it has helped. Andrew

  • Hey Andrew

    I love what you posted, very true, My question is that one can make a mental change but the bit i find hard is integrating the physical change in the body, actually feeling different physically….more excited, more alive,more energised..Any hints and tips? BTW, your mom’s poem was awesome, she has amazing insight.

    Adam

    • You have hit the nail on the head here Adam because its all about the ‘feeling’ not so much the ‘thinking’. In order to get the feeling, we need to create the thinking first.

      When I went through my transition from frustrated to letting go, here is what I did:-

      1. Write out everything In my life I am grateful for. I wrote pages – and I felt grateful. In fact, I remember when I did this I was emotional at how much I had
      2. Once I made the decision to let go and be where I was at, I realised for the past several months I had not been looking after myself (drinking, smoking, eating bad foods), so once I let go I went shopping and bought nothing but great foods and starting getting up early and exercising again (this always has a great effect on your feeling)
      3. I changed my environment around completely – changed my bedroom around, cleaned my car – just simplified everything and found that the clean environment allowed me to feel great
      4. Started ringing friends and organising things – stuff I used to do before feeling flat and run down. This had a huge impact for me.
      5. Forgave the girl who left me. She left me after cheating on me, but this wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t so down all the time – so taking responsibility for this actually helped me feel better (ie I moved from the blame game)
      6. Started focusing on making other people happy – not me. this was a big one – once i took the energy away from me, and my stuff – then I found i started feeling alive again.

      I have created a full program on this called flip your life if you really want to experience the change in the feeling. The link to find out more is http://whatareyouchasing.com/video-3-flip-your-life

      I hope some of this helps.

      Andrew

  • Hi Andrew,

    Thanks a lot for your person and what you´re doing for people. It´s of great use and very motivating. I´m a martial artist and business health concept designer as well. I use my past and education to drive in more health and strength into companies. Still working on ” the final angle” though. You inspired me to start working on my first ebook which is almost done. I aim to making it a series / a signature line for everyone to benefit from.

    And this new remark on letting go, I definitely tried with success. I use meditation as a medium to to reach “the point of all possibilities”, to reach the actual core of everything’s origin. There… In between my thought impulses, in the “nothingness” I use to plant a seed of an intention. And then I leave it … and don´t think about it anymore.

    From there – I begin start aware of everything that happens around me… Signs, people, TV and radio voices a.s.o. And guess what… In very few days the universe has lined up LINKED opportunities that leads me towards the goal I was very specific about and planted in the space of “Nothingness”…

    This really works. In your words – “Set a goal and live in the moment”

    More people should be aware of this… Great stuff 🙂

    All the best,
    Samir Di Johansson

  • Jackie O

    I really like the splitting of the future, past and present – 10% future, 10% past and 80% present.

  • shreya

    lettitng things go looks simple but is not easy..the pain and the guilt that we endure is difficult to surpass..bt yeah..things have to let go to move on in life…….

  • Butch Paula

    Andrew,

    I like all of your web blogs and videos-I just finished “What the Hell are you Chasing?”. Very good. This blog on letting go really hits home. I love the 80-20 rules of focusing 10% on the past, 10% on the future and 80% on the present. Great stuff!

    Butch

  • Amber

    This poem is truly inspiring! I cried reading it – it moved me so much. Thank you Andrew (and Susan) for your insight.

  • Sarah Rua

    My daughter and I just went through being evicted and then spending a little over a week in a hotel because we had no place to stay. It was just before Christmas. My daughter went to her dad’s house on Christmas, and the next morning I checked out of the hotel. I had to let go. I had to forget harboring myself in the hotel and get on with other things in my life. Namely, I had to find a place to stay. I checked out of the hotel and went to work and I said fine, okay. I know an exercise that is supposed to help in this type of situation, and that is accepting everything, and being grateful for everything. So I started small. I accepted each customer for who they were, whether they were angry or understanding, and I was grateful for them. At least for those thirty seconds of dealing with them, it pulled me away from worrying about a place to stay. Then I moved outward. I accepted the kind words from my fellow coworkers and was grateful for them. I even accepted three extra hours of work that day (making it an 11 hr day) and was grateful for them, because I it was longer before I would really face being homeless – really homeless. When I left work that day, I faced it. Because I had been accepting things all day, my mind, my body automatically accepted the fact that I was homeless. Then a thought came to me. To keep me away from being homeless a little longer – wandering stores homeless, anyway, I went out to my parents’ house to clean up and pack up some of the things I still had out there. When I told them that I had no where to sleep that night, they said I could stay there. I slept the heaviest I had slept in a long time there. Within two days after that, accepting that I was staying at my parents and I needed a place to stay, I found one. Two bedrooms and only a few blocks away from the main part of town, if I wanted/needed to walk, and the landlady let me move in the day before my daughter came back from her dad’s. Basically, my life had turned itself around over the course of the weekend. I accepted my “fate” as it were, and I let go of worrying about being homeless and worrying about not having a place to stay. Now we are building up our home; no furniture just yet, but we have a roof, a good view, and each other. I remember that every morning. I felt I was on the verge of not being able to take care of my daughter any more, and I can still do that. I let go, and viewed the world from the seat of gratitude, and it all changed.

  • Marie Noëlle

    Happy new year Andrew!
    It is always a pleasure to listen to your advice. More importantly, to see how connected you are with your mother. I have a 18 year old son and a 14 year old daughter, they are now in the age where I have to compromise a lot and support them a lot, it is just not easy as I am dealing with so many frustrations.
    However, I am confident with my future. I have really never let go with the past, so many things happened in my childhood and I am just confused. I had very loving and care giving parents who loved their children (and the entire neighborhood) to death. I always thought I am the luckiest child in the world because I have such a big family, and we are very close to each other.
    But I also got sexually abused by my cousin many years when I was 7 year old. I never really though it is was a problem, I had my dreams, and everything seems to workout just as i have plan it, my school, college, university and I got my Bachelor degree, while raising my 2 babies. My boyfriend left me as my daughter was 2 months old, and for me it was just OK, I had good jobs opportunities, my career was booming, I was beautiful, eloquent, very enthusiastic, passionate, very successful. I was always somewhere doing something for somebody, I volunteer a lot and it was my joy and pride to to that. Until 2 years ago, my brother died, I missed the chance to have the promotion I was aiming for in the company; I start to study at the university to get my Master degree, but I had to give up because it was getting harder with my children. I was so unhappy with my job and decided to quit for a better job, I even move into another city, but I completely messed up that opportunity, got FIRED only after 7 months of service. Went though a severe depression because I am also full in debt. Then I decided to quit the new job I’ve got. I am back in my old town again, I got a job in the same company where I use to work before and I am very unhappy. I clearly know where I want to be, what I want to do with my future and even how to get there.
    But I suddenly blocked and I am scared about my future, the memories of my repeated rapes came back and I just thought to myself, this might have been a serious injury that I tried to get over during these years without success.
    It is difficult for me to live in the present, I am scare to live my children without nothing in this earth and it stresses me. I have listened to you so carefully since I discovered you a year ago, I am willing and ready to shake up all these frustrations and setbacks, and move on this year. The poem from your mom has spoken to me. I AM READY Andrew!!!! I want to meet my goals of taking the chance to finally open my restaurant this year. To pay back all my debts and travel to see my parents, after 10 years of separation.
    Thank you for being so kind and sharing all your experiences with me. I look forward to you witnessing my success on this same channel very soon.
    Sincerely Yours,
    Marie Noëlle

  • I love this wish i had more of your books its helped like nothing eles thanhs very very much

  • passang

    great video, keep up the good work

  • Andrew- i agree with you completely
    and yet
    i just returned yesterday from usa after attending jack canfields seminar-where a lot of emphasis is laid on goal setting, planning and visualization.

    im a bit confused now between the 2 approaches to aciheving my lifes purpose

    or should i goal set and then let go my wish in the universe to be fulfilled

    • great thoughts andrew.
      then what do you feel on the power of goal setting

  • jo4usall

    cant carryOn l must see you

  • tommyRfrancis

    Very helpful thank you 🙂

  • duke nukem

    absolutely!

  • Barima Yaw

    powerful! thanks

  • This design is spectacular! You definitely know how to keep a reader entertained.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Fantastic job.

    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

  • This design is incredible! You obviously know how to keep a reader amused.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job.

    I really enjoyed what you had to say, and more than that, how you presented it.
    Too cool!

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