To have a friend is to be one first

By February 2, 2012 Mindset 3 Comments

To receive friendship then first you must give friendship. It is impossible to be a friend without being a giver and I’m not talking in the monetary sense. It costs nothing to lend an ear, give a hand or supply a shoulder.

It can be as simple as sharing laughter, or as effortless as an appropriate smile. It can be as gentle as a pat on the back or as embracing as a big bear hug. Just being there for your mate is what friendship is all about.

In the conclusion of my book, What The Hell Are You Chasing I talk about the importance of friendship and especially the importance of being a good listener.

I stand by that statement because to be a good listener, in contrast to simply hearing the voice of someone, helps the listener to share, and be involved with the conversation.

Too many people ask questions with little intent on hearing the answer. Their purpose is purely to introduce a subject which they can expand on, rather than having an interest in their friend’s response.

Take note next time you are in a conversation.  Sadly this happens much too much and make sure that when you next ask a question, be genuinely interested in the reply.

Edward Everett Hale once said ‘The making of friends, who are real friends, is the best token we have of a man’s success in life’. Pretty meaningful stuff so I reckon it’s fair to say beware of the man who has no friends. Doesn’t that tell you volumes about the man?

“The making of friends, who are real friends, is the best token we have of a man’s success in life” – Edward Everett Hale

If you are blessed with friends then cherish them. If you are lonely and in search of friendship then reach out and touch someone’s heart or soul, remembering that one of the best gifts you can give yourself is a good friend.

About Andrew Roberts

Andrew is well known as one of Australia’s leading business mentors, is a Strategic Business specialist, and has been known to work his own magic with a host of companies featured in various Top 100 BRW lists. Andrew has gone from running one of the largest business coaching companies in Australia to focusing on specialists and leaders of various industries.

  • Thanks Andrew this is a great article and one that I subscribe to in my life.

  • Hi,

    Thank you for your email about friendship.
    In a nutshell we love the saying about friendship that goes like this:

    “When Everyone Walks out a Friend will Walk in”

    In other words when everyone is no longer interested in your problem or can’t be bothered anymore, a true friend will walk in, lend a shoulder, a sympathetic ear, whatever it takes to help. Someone who is capable of ‘walking in someone else’s shoes‘, is empathic and non judgemental, and knows all your faults but still likes you anyway.

    Love and Blessings,
    Linda and Leanne xxx

  • Douglas Howard

    A very true and wise philosophy. Listen as you would have others listen to you.
    Nobody listens to the response of the question, how are you? The question is only put as a greeting.
    True friends are always there as you should be for them. You don’t need close contact all the time, just be there to listen if they wish to unload a problem they have. They are not looking for anything more than that solace of being able to release an upsetting issue and your listening and offering that shoulder to lean on can help them over an emotional speed bump.

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